Dedicated to the recovering under-cover over-lovers..
I've been wanting to write about this for a while now, but whenever I begin, I feel as if what I have prepared to say just wasn't good enough. So, I would go back to the drawing board, meditate, observe, listen. I wanted to take as much of the world around me in as to gain a more well-rounded perspective on the subject of sharing yourself romantically with a partner and the process of separation that may follow. My goal for writing on this was to create a piece that was relatable, inspiring, and a catalyst for growth and healing for anyone who may need it. I believe I have finally reached a point where I can write these words and they be received well. Let us begin.
I've had my fair-share of "failed" relationships, for one reason or another, and over time the perceived failure of romantic loss caused me to harden. For a while, I clearly remember feeling as though I were stone - cold, and numb. I allowed the heartbreaks (water, pressure, wind, and sand) to shape me into a version of myself that I no longer recognized. Eventually, after a much needed hiatus dedicated to self-care, I realized that I didn't want to be stone anymore. No. Through loving myself, I discovered that I was created to be warm, open, and resilient against life's pain - as we all are. I made the decision to connect, and not take the "failure" personally.
When you love yourself enough to allow due time to reflect, heal, and learn, you gather new perspective. You're more open to forgiveness - whether you need to forgive yourself or the other person in the equation. You're lighter, because you're shedding the heavy, dead skin of disappointment and regret. You're ready to share again, because you've realized that everyone acts according to their own perspective and everyone's perspectives are different. One of the biggest mistakes we make in this life is creating a generalization for all who we encounter. Not only do we rob them of a genuine experience, but we rob ourselves of truthfully and openly connecting with another soul - exploring possibilities.
Now, naturally, there are people out there who won't have your best interests in mind, only to have left you sitting in the mud after all you've given to them. But we cannot live our lives giving into that fear, lest we cheat ourselves the opportunity of forming meaningful relationships later down the line. And meaningful relationships come in many forms; through the exploration of intimacy, friendships can be born, lessons can be taught, and horizons can be expanded.
Whether or not a relationship may end on a "bad" note, we never leave without gain. We must remember that every experience is an opportunity to be the best version of ourselves - to dust ourselves off and get back into the game. Remaining numb and jaded through romantic interactions strip you of the mysticism that life and humanity has to offer. One will never truly learn if they aren't even paying attention.
- K.