I'm gonna be really honest right now and tell you all that I have never read Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power. There's no particular reason as to why I haven't. It simply never appealed to me. I never felt like I had to read it, you know? Recently, though, a quote from the book jumped out at me - on Twitter, of all places.
"Never appear too perfect. Appearing better than others i always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses."
To some, this probably isn't the most profound piece of information they could've ever received, but to me, in that moment - standing in that grocery store checkout line - it was a concept that shook me a li'l bit. We exist in a time where it's more okay to be flawed than it ever has been, but I've always had a problem with being my true, imperfect self for all the world to see. Since I can remember, I've felt the need to convey to the general public that not much was wrong in my life and that I had it all together. But, honestly, I'm just as flawed and messy as anyone else, and I'm finally reaching a point in my life where I'm ready to be more transparent about it.
Writing a creative work is extremely personal. Intimate elements of the author's life always find a way to sneak in there and expose themselves; cracking open like a young coconut, revealing the mouth-watering details inside. Sometimes, it's obvious; sometimes, it's a little more mysterious. When I first started writing this web series a couple of years ago, I was afraid to get too personal. I ain't want to be nobody's VitaCoco! I knew that my audience would inevitably begin to ask... questions.
"Where'd you find the inspiration to write this? Have you gone through this?? Wait, does that mean you're that?? How would you even know about (insert topic here)? Do you love this shit? Are you high right now?? Do you ever get nervous?"
It was a lot to process! At one point, I even stopped writing for a couple of months, because the words on the page.. er, screen, were getting too real. Granted, there are elements of this screenplay that aren't a direct reflection of my personal life, but quite a few are. And it was scary to see my problems, my flaws, my insecurities woven into that script. What was worse was that I had already cast myself as the lead character. So, I knew that when it was time to get to filming this, I'd essentially be doing a performance art piece of what makes me.. broken? Flawed? A human???
As a Virgo sun, the thought made my butt itch, but, as an artist, it filled me with a sense of appreciation. Good art, to me, is a product of authenticity. If you hide yourself from the art, you're doing it a huge disservice. If you hide the truth, your truth, from the art, then you might as well not even be making it. Getting back to the aforementioned quote, it shook me because I knew that continuing to hide my imperfections would limit the potential of the story I want to tell. I'm growing to be very appreciative of the opportunity to be bare with my art and go great lengths because of it.
I'm aware that I likely interpreted that quote in a way that didn't really align with Mr. Greene's intentions, but it truly was something I needed to see. I'm a firm believer that we receive messages from the Universe, and I believe that I'm being told to prioritize authenticity over anything else during this project. It's been very scary to have to do, but knowing that sense of truth is what has already drawn so many people to this story helps me overcome any anxiety about being seen. My story is about people with flaws and how they become stronger because of them. I'm honored to be a muse for that.
- KD
P.S., are you following @themfeels.series on Instagram yet?? I highly recommend that you do!