I know, I know, I was supposed to be doing this blog weekly. Let me tell you though, for a while there, it wasn’t easy to maintain my day to day, the forward trajectory of this web series, AND my personal content all at once. I had to learn really quick, though, that with the freedom to make my schedule whatever I want it to be comes the responsibility to make sure I’m not allowing myself to be completely consumed by it.
September was a wild month for me - I was in the thick of the work I do to pay my bills (which is a LOT of odd jobs and performance gigs) as well as working with my partner to prepare to actually go to Detroit to film the pilot of (them feels). We still had a ton of outstanding tasks to fulfill at that point like casting, location scouting, securing crafty, walking through shot lists and shoot schedules with our film crew, and so much more. It seemed like I had some kind of phone or in-person meeting to commit to every other day. I was genuinely going mad because I was drowning under the responsibilities.
Fast forward to today; we are finally in post-production, and I’ve since made a commitment to never kill myself like that again. Our team was quite small, and the obvious solution there is to hire more people going forward, but I also had to step back and vow to make some major changes in my personal life. I was away from home twice in October, which meant I had to hustle super hard when I actually was home to make sure I would be able to make rent. (Spoiler alert, I did.. by the skin of my teeth). I totally wouldn’t say that I made it out of that situation with a few scratches; I came out of October feeling bloody, wounded, and in need of sleep for a year. It wasn’t fun to have been so overwhelmed for more than a month straight, and I’m finally realizing that the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead mentality” is one that will absolutely make sure you’re “getting sleep” - if you know what I mean. Allowing yourself to be overwhelmed in an attempt to feign productivity is not at all a healthy way to live life, and I wanted out.
That in mind, I now have days set aside for office hours, regrouping, and leisure time with my partner. I’m re-learning mindfulness, and am taking the steps necessary to make sure I’m paying good attention to my mental and physical health. See, being overwhelmed for the sake of being overwhelmed is never the wave. I get that as young creatives, we’re always hungry for the next gig or the next opportunity or whatever and we’re balancing all of that with survival gigs and whatnot, but it shouldn’t ever cost us our well-being.
Winter is approaching, and I’m super excited this cycle because I’m accepting it as nature’s call for us to begin the period of hibernation. Days are shorter, projects are in post-production, and the burning incentive to be a busybody is finally cooling off as we absorb the value of rest and reset. Here and now, as 2018 starts to come to a close, I promise myself to manage my time and my affairs better as I continue to push forward in my career, and I encourage everyone take time to do the same. And please know that I’m not suggesting a complete halt on productivity. There’s just no point in being so overwhelmed that you’re actually not getting anything done.